One of the problems that often come to a child psychologist is the problem of child aggression. The child cries, screams, fights, bites, calls names, protests, takes offense, does not obey, runs away, does everything contrary to parental requirements - an approximate and incomplete list of what worries parents. It happens that in the opinion of the parents, the child began to behave this way completely suddenly, and until a certain age he was very calm and obedient. It happens differently, and then the parents claim that the child from birth is a lot of screaming and angry. One way or another, but parents feel their helplessness, powerlessness, despair and guilt, and, which is quite natural, their own aggression towards their child.
There is also another version of children's behavior that worries parents: the child is obedient and silent, timid and almost never expresses protest, as if he has no opinion and does not differ in initiative. At first glance, this situation is directly opposite to the previous one, but this is only at first glance. In fact, such a problem can also be associated with the aggression of the child (more precisely, as if with its complete absence). This can happen when a child, desperate to find safe conditions for expressing negative feelings outside, humbles himself and unconsciously "chooses" the way to hide his own emotions "inside himself." For others, the child looks silent, quiet, shy and always agrees.
Let's try to figure out where such childish behavior comes from and how you can try to help the child and himself.
In psychology, there is such a thing - “containment” of emotions, which consists in a person’s ability to withstand very strong emotions and process them inside themselves so that they do not have a destructive effect on the psyche. The ability to contain should not be confused with restraining strong emotions, with their violent retention within themselves. In this case, we can speak, just about the destructive effect of emotions, which can be expressed not only in violation of behavior, but also psychosomatically, that is, through bodily disease.
The most difficult thing, as a rule, is the situation with the containment of aggression, since it is aggression that causes high nervous and mental stress.
The need for containment already in the hospital is faced by every woman who has given birth to a child. The joy of meeting with the baby, relief after childbirth is quickly replaced by severe anxiety. The baby screams, screams strongly and heart-rending, it is obvious that something is very worrying him. The options can be different: he is hungry, he has a headache, stomach, or any organ in his body, maybe he is scared, or it can be cold or hot ... Unfortunately my mother’s regret, the baby is unable to not only say or give at least some a sign that he was worried, but he himself could not determine for himself why he was ill. He is waiting for the one who will guess himself and be able to solve his problem. But at first the infant does not understand that there is “something” or “someone” that can help him and therefore he simply screams desperately, being absolutely unable to withstand his own nervous tension on his own.
And mother, despite physical pain and fatigue, comes to the baby. She tries to apply it to her chest, checks whether it is dry, tries to swaddle it, or vice versa to wrap it up warmer. Perhaps this helps, or perhaps the baby continues to cry, but after all, almost everything has been tried. Then mom just wears it in her arms, shakes it in every way that her imagination is capable of, and in a quiet calm voice sings a song to him or simply talks to him that everything will pass soon and that he will feel good and that she is always with him and that he has nothing to fear. And the baby finally begins to calm down and falls asleep. And so the baby gets his first experience of containing mom of his childish aggression, pain and tension. And along with reassurance, he begins to feel that the world around him can be trusted, and there will always be a response to his cry for help from children. For the baby, this means that the world is good, and therefore he is good himself, because they react to him. And this, in particular, becomes the basis for his future self-esteem.
Infants are born with a different need for containment. Some of them look calm and sleep most of the time, while some, on the contrary, require constant attention. It is difficult to name the exact reasons for this, and the mother has to adapt to the need that her child broadcasts to her. But even the calmest babies as they grow older face the fact that some of their needs cannot be fully satisfied. This is partly because parents are not omnipotent, and partly because some childhood desires simply should not be satisfied. It is quite natural that a child in situations when his desire cannot be fulfilled reacts not with joy, but with irritation, and even anger. And in such cases, parental containment is again necessary. And if earlier infant aggression was addressed as a whole to the outside world, it was as if dispersed, now the growing child is already angry specifically at mom or dad, now he can angrily shout to them "I hate you!" and stomp angrily with his feet, he can throw things, even try to hit or bite his parent.
Of course, it becomes much harder for the parent to contain such "tricks." From a feeling of resentment, injustice and his own powerlessness, the parent loses his temper, behaves rudely with the child and further plunges into his own guilt. And so the circle is closed, consisting of a child who has no other way of expressing his own aggression and an adult who rushes between the need to maintain his parental authority for the child and the fear of making the child too painful. The search begins for a "golden mean" in responding to his aggression.
At first, it’s good to understand why, in principle, the child’s aggression is too painful for the parent. Naturally, it is unpleasant for any person if they shout at him and accuse him undeservedly. And if a child gets out of control in a situation where it is least convenient for parents, when there are disapproving "viewers", then keeping calm becomes even more difficult. Nevertheless, it is much easier to accept and regulate all these childhood manifestations if the parent is aware of his own feelings at this moment. What kind of feelings can these be? They are all different. It can be fear of feeling helpless and powerless, fear of one's own weakness. Someone is very worried about their imperfection in general, and as a parent, in particular. For some, the child’s aggression is an indicator that he (the parent) is depreciated, we do not respect, he is not an authoritative figure ... Naturally, experiencing all these feelings, and even not realizing most of them, can hardly be a question of successful containment.
The child, sending an unconscious “request” in the form of his own aggression, asks the parent to help him cope with these destructive feelings. Behind the cry "I hate you!" perhaps the unconscious is hidden “show me that you love me!”, with stamping feet and bites hidden “teach me where the borders are between me and you”, unrestrained hysteria in front of other people is a child’s request “show me that I’m more important than other people's opinions. " During an aggressive outbreak, the child wants to make sure that he will be loved and accepted, not only when he is kind and obedient, but also when he is stubborn and evil. And if at such a moment you tell him: “if you don’t stop screaming, I’ll leave you in the store (I will give that aunt, etc.),” then the child will hear that he has no right to anger, he should always be comfortable, which means he is not loved the way he is. But in children, as a rule, there is a lot of hope that it is not so easy to come to such a conclusion and therefore he will provoke such tantrums again and again, in order at some point to turn the tide and feel the parental acceptance.
A child can calm down and stop his tantrum without prejudice to his immature psyche only if he feels that he has been heard. If the parent can understand and accept the hidden message that is hidden behind the explicit cries of "I hate you," "I will not listen to you," can answer him as the child needs it, then the first step will be taken to get out of this tense situation . When does anyone feel they hear? Then, when they agree with his feelings. It is important to divide here that it is a matter of accepting feelings, and not of the child’s point of view and of doing what he wants (or does not want).
For example, you need to end your walk, and your child wants to "ride a little" on a swing? He is about to burst out screaming at the entire playground or has already done so. Try to tell him quite calmly: “I understand you, you are angry, you would, because you want to walk like that, but it turns out that we can’t walk now. You know, it’s always unpleasant when some desire of ours cannot be fulfilled. You’re probably angry with me. But I want you to know that I love you, we just don’t have the opportunity to continue the walk now. "
With this answer, the child learns important things: firstly, he has the right to aggression and expression of negative feelings, parents are able to withstand these feelings, and do not stop loving him, which means they accept him by anyone. Secondly, the child feels that parents, too, do not always have the opportunity to fulfill their desires, there are limitations for this, but at the same time, they are able to bear it and live on. Thirdly, understanding comes that the parent’s love does not depend on his willingness to fulfill any child’s request, and love is love, it is always there, even when mom and dad still need to do it their own way.
However, no matter how much one wants to solve the problem of children's protest quickly and effectively, one can count on a sustainable result if such a reaction becomes a family habit. In addition, what the parent says should not go against what the parent feels at that moment. In the opposite case, children easily feel the catch and are unlikely to be able to calm down easily.
The ability of such a reaction for all people is different, and it was formed in a similar way. In other words, the more our parents were inclined toward an adequate reaction to our aggression, the more carefully they heard us in childhood and understood, the stronger our emotional support in childhood, the higher our own ability to contain our children. Unfortunately, to acquire this ability only by reading the appropriate literature or watching videos is quite difficult. A sustainable result can be achieved with the help of psychotherapy, in the course of which the experience of "containment" is naturally acquired.
Is it good for children to cry?
Many modern parents think that the old proverb that says “no matter what the child was amusing - just not cry”, invites them to take a whining child by any means so that he does not interfere with them calmly doing their work. However, a different meaning was put into this proverb. Experienced parents wanted to convey to the young people that simple truth that a child should not cry at all. It was believed that it was harmful for the baby to cry, as this spoils his character and interferes with his normal development. This opinion is absolutely fair. Either a sick child or a child with inattentive parents can cry constantly.
The opinion that, crying, the child develops lungs is an excuse for those who can not and, most importantly, do not really want to competently take care of the baby. A healthy well-groomed baby will not cry for no reason. If the baby cried, it means that something is bothering him and you need to understand the causes of crying in order to eliminate them as soon as possible.
Reasons for crying a newborn
The main causes of crying baby are:
- the need for physical contact with the mother,
- desire to take breasts, satisfy hunger and sucking reflex,
- desire to be rocked
- desire to fall asleep, feeling tired and general discomfort,
- the need for urination or bowel movement,
- feeling of cold
- malaise of the child (intracranial pressure, disorders of the nervous system, increased irritability, hypertonicity, hypotension, developmental pathology, physiological phenomena of the adaptation period, the onset of an infectious or catarrhal disease, skin diseases or diaper rash),
- increased skin sensitivity
- anxiety or fear, fear for one’s integrity, dissatisfaction with contact with mother or environment,
- consequences of birth stress, fetal memories,
- reaction to geomagnetic or atmospheric phenomena, the phase of the moon.
Parents should know that the crying and anxiety of the newborn is always associated with some serious reasons that need to be identified and eliminated as soon as possible. As a rule, children whose care is organized according to the principles of soft adaptation, cry very little. Many parents are afraid that, responding to every squeak of the baby and satisfying all his needs, they will spoil him. These fears are devoid of any grounds, since it is impossible to spoil a baby under the age of 1 year. At this age, you can only create confidence for him in the reliability of the environment or destroy it.
What is crying
By crying a newborn, an experienced mother can determine its cause. Crying of a hungry baby is different from crying due to pain or discomfort. If the mother is attentive to the baby, then she will gradually learn to distinguish what her child is crying about and will be able to distinguish: hungry cry, call, discomfort or pain, desire to fall asleep. Consider the characteristic signs of various types of crying.
Conscription cry - the child screams for 5-6 seconds, then pauses for 20-30 seconds, waiting for the result, then again screams for about 10 seconds and again calms down for 20-30 seconds. This cycle is repeated several times, while the crying period gradually increases until it turns into a continuous one.
Hungry cry - starts with draft weeping. If the mother came up and picked up her hands, but did not offer her breasts, then the crying turns into an angry scream, combined with search head movements, and during the search movements the child falls silent. If the mother does not give breast after that, then the cry turns into hysterical, choking.
Crying in pain - this is a cry with a touch of suffering and hopelessness. This is a fairly even incessant cry in which bursts of a desperate scream periodically occur, which, apparently, correspond to increased pain.
Crying during excretion - It looks like a squeak or whimper, which can turn into a cry just before the moment of urination, if the mother does not understand the child and does not help him.
Crying if you want to fall asleep - a fairly even whimper-complaint, accompanied by yawning and frequent closing of the eyes.
In addition, in crying, the infant can reflect various emotional experiences - resentment, complaint, anxiety, mental suffering, hopelessness, etc.
Rules of conduct for parents when the baby is crying. Here are the rules that parents who need a newborn need to know.
- The first and most important rule: if the baby cried, it must be picked up and given a breast. And if he cried, being in his arms, we must offer him his chest and shake.
- If the child does not calm down or refuses to take the breast, and the mother cannot understand the nature of the crying, its cause should be clarified. To do this, try to drop the baby, or change the diaper, if he has already done everything on his own, try to shake the baby and put him to bed. If this does not give a quick result, it is necessary to check and eliminate the possible causes of skin irritation: check the clothes, the condition of the stroller or berth, check if the baby’s ear is wrapped, if there are any diaper rash or rashes.
- Trying to calm the baby, the mother herself should be calm. Quite often, children cry in response to irritation and nervousness of the mother or the general unfriendly atmosphere in the family. Therefore, a woman needs to calm down and eliminate the source of irritation.
- If these measures do not give a result, then the causes of crying are either the result of gross errors in care and a psychologist-perinatologist should be invited to urgently establish it, or they lie in the child’s malaise and you need to call a doctor. While parents expect the arrival of specialists, you can not leave the child to the mercy of fate. It should always be worn on the hands, often applied to the chest, changed the diaper and monitor the condition of the skin, since these measures in any case improve the condition of the baby.
Crying: whether to take the child in his arms. How to survive colic
Many child care guides talk about crying. It accompanies the life of a baby so naturally that it is simply impossible to forget about it. However, little is mentioned where mother feels when her baby is filled with tears. We will understand why a newborn often cries, whether to take a crying child in his arms, how to survive colic and respond to crying in older children.
Crying baby: what adults feel
Everywhere you can read that "gradually mom learns to distinguish the sounds made by her child." With experience, you really begin to see the difference between the cry of a hungry wolf and the whimper of a sick baby. But no one mentions that any kind of crying ultimately is very exhausting.
Of course, the mother has enough intelligence and sympathy to understand that the baby has no other means of expression. He does not scream at all to annoy his mother, but only to ask her for help.
Of course you all know that. Nevertheless, for some fraction of a second you have a desire to shout: “Yes, you will shut up someday, little monster!”.
Depending on the age of the child, crying is perceived differently, and several stages can be distinguished in the perception of children's crying by parents.
- Newborn: parents do not understand the reason for his crying too well, they feel powerless, frantically trying to find at least some solution, asking themselves if they are good parents (guilt - 5 points on a five-point scale).
- In a few weeks: parents know why their baby is crying, and without hesitation they find a solution (which came through sleepless nights and hundreds of dirty diapers).
- After a few months: the baby has perfectly learned how to make his parents react, and begins to use all his persuasive power. Parents are already seasoned enough and know how to bypass the traps set by the little sly one.
Why a newborn often cries
A newborn baby doesn’t cry at all the most, but it’s the most difficult to understand. You must always proceed from the fact that he will not throw tantrums just like that, and you must establish the reason by conducting a small investigation. Do not worry, you will very quickly become a real Sherlock Holmes: it is scientifically proven that within ten days after the birth of a child, mother will recognize from 3 to 6 types of crying.
|Causes of Baby Anxiety||Signs|
|I want to eat / drink.||These are very loud screams of rage that do not stop when you pick it up. Often he puts his fist in his mouth. The only thing that matters to him now is eating.|
|I'm wet.||These screams are not so loud, rather plaintive, but much more annoying.|
|I'm tired.||The child whimpers, sobs, it is evident that he is uncomfortable. He wants you to hug him and comfort him.|
|It hurts me.||Sharp, piercing, alarmed cries that do not stop when you pick up the baby. Up to three months, it is usually about colic associated with the immaturity of the nervous and digestive systems.|
|I need to be discharged.||These screams allow you to get rid of the stress accumulated during the day, and are accompanied by increased excitement.|
|At choice: |
I'm completely naked.
They squeeze me.
What is this noise?
|Whimpering or loud crying, depending on the degree of discomfort.|
Should I pick him up right away?
How to choose between the instinctive desire to comfort your child and what prompted by the remnants of the neurons that survived in the mother’s brain (“no, no and no, you need to wait a bit”)?
Answering the call of the child, you make him understand that you are here and are ready to console him and help. If the baby understands that there is someone nearby who can be trusted, he will grow up calm and confident.
Nevertheless, the baby will greatly advance in its development if it learns to console itself, finding the strength to calm down. Restrained and sympathetic presence - this is the true position of the ideal mother, is not it?
When nothing helps
He is crying. As a rule, this happens in the late afternoon. You tried to solve this problem: dressed your baby, fed him. You rock him, caress. Nothing helps. These are classic colic stemming from the child’s need to get rid of the stress accumulated during the day, from the stress experienced (excitement, fatigue, joy, etc.). Have you never really wanted to be discharged from an excess of emotions?
In such situations, the stress and discomfort of the child become contagious: the mother feels powerless, begins to get nervous, the tension rises. Give the baby time to calm down, leaving him in his room, only occasionally come in to check if everything is okay with him. If he continues to cry, you can walk with him from room to room, provided that you yourself will remain calm.
It will also be necessary to put up with these ongoing crises, they are inevitable, and try to survive them with dignity, without aggravating the situation.
Crying older baby
A growing baby may have new types of crying. With the development of man, his anxieties become more sophisticated. Having finished with primitive problems (hunger, thirst, sleep, wet diapers), the child goes into the wonderful world of metaphysical worries: I want to attract your attention, I need love.
“Hey, I'm bored!” As soon as the child stops sleeping all day, he is seized with a thirst for discovery. Do not leave him in the crib, take advantage of the fact that he is still motionless, and take a sun lounger with him. He will be happy to watch how mom washes dishes, prepares food, and cleans up.
“You do not allow me to touch what I want - I’ll arrange such a tantrum for you now!” Disappointment is perhaps one of the most painful sensations that children experience. Parents set boundaries and forbid them to touch outlets, light bulbs, fragile trinkets, etc. The kid needs to learn to cope with this feeling.
"No, mom, do not leave me!" Pretty quickly, the baby learns a feeling of sadness, seeing how you leave. It is generally accepted that by the age of 8 months he discovers the "anxiety of parting," in other words, the fear that you will not return. Of course, each child has everything individually: someone cries, as soon as the mother goes into the next room, and someone does not remember her in two days. In both cases, there is no cause for alarm, all this will pass.
Article provided by RIPOL Classic Publishing House
Features of crying in infants
First of all, parents need to know that the baby is crying, because he can not express their feelings and emotions in a different way.
Therefore, you first need to listen and analyze children's crying - do not panic in advance.
Very often, the baby cries instinctively - the crumb just needs to periodically feel the warmth, tenderness and smell of the mother. This is the cry that immediately stops after the mother responds to his call and takes the baby in her arms.
And you also need to remember that the reason for such a cry is fear and a call for help, especially in the first months of life.
Moreover, these are character traits, weeping, the baby shows his fear of the unknown - until he can "live" alone in this world and calls his mother for help.
Do not be afraid that he will spoil, become “tame”, worse if your child lives in constant fear and loneliness.
Sharp crying baby
Many parents notice that newborns cry less often than children after a month of age.
This is indeed due to the immaturity of the nervous system, so only active stimuli can provoke crying of the baby:
Especially often the baby cries when exposed to strong irritants:
- bright light, continuous flashing,
- sharp loud sounds (screaming, knocking),
- a constantly working TV or other sound-reproducing technique with unpleasant annoying music.
In addition, the infant may cry if it experiences:
- difficulty falling asleep,
- pain syndrome.
Features of crying if the baby is hungry
Hunger is the most common cause of crying in infants up to 3 months.
This is the first thing you can think of if a child cries.
"Hungry" crying has its own distinctive features - the crumb differs from other types of crying easily:
- the baby begins to cry demandingly and invitingly, loudly and persistently with short breaks,
- crying from hunger is possible only after a certain time after feeding,
- in addition, the baby stretches out its hands, makes sucking movements with its mouth, as it were, "catches the chest."
If crying is caused by hunger, the baby calms down immediately after feeding.
To date, the main WHO recommendations for feeding for newborns and children in the first months of life (up to 6 months) is feeding not by the hour, but on demand. Therefore, the baby may cry if he or his parents have not yet fully adapted to his individual nutritional needs for breast milk.
Nevertheless, it should be remembered that indiscriminate feeding too often “on the first cry”, especially if little time has passed after feeding, can lead to overfeeding, increased intestinal colic and regurgitation.
Do not forget about other causes of the crying baby - you can offer him a chest, but do not insist.
On-demand feeding with normal lactation and a sufficient time for the baby to stay at the breast - still has its own individual schedule and your baby will want to eat no earlier than 1.5-2 hours after feeding the baby.
If the baby often asks for a breast - this is an occasion to contact a pediatrician and determine the cause of "hungry" crying.
How a baby cries if he is tired
Babies up to 3 months should sleep from 18 to 20 hours - this is due to physiological fatigue, which is associated with hyper-excitability and rapid exhaustion of the nervous system.
A reaction to fatigue, both physical and psycho-emotional, is moodiness and crying.
At the same time, the more the baby is tired, the longer and stronger the baby will cry.
The main sign of crying from fatigue in infants is first a loss of interest in the world around them, and then the baby begins to move anxiously and whimper and only after that cry loudly.
It is important to know that a baby with severe fatigue fatigue can not always calm down and fall asleep immediately.
You always need to remember that the body of the newborn and the baby of the first months is very weak, it is difficult for him to control even his body, therefore, with excessive loads, he gets tired very quickly.
At the first signs of fatigue, the baby must be picked up, reassured and lulled. Little children quickly calm down in the fresh air.
Important nuances are:
- well-ventilated, dark room,
- lack of loud, sharp sounds, often kids fall asleep well to measured noise or quiet music,
- Of particular importance is a certain ritual - bathing crumbs, stroking, humming, laying in bed.
In the bathing water, you can add a few drops of valerian tincture or bathe the baby in decoctions of herbs - mint, chamomile, calendula.
Parents need to know that if you are too tired, you can’t bathe the child - this will lead to excessive overexcitation of the nervous system, the baby will be frightened, and in the future they will feel discomfort when bathing.
In addition, a noisy company can cause overwork in a baby, many people - this carries an additional danger in the form of various viruses and bacteria, especially in the first months of life.
Discomfort as a cause of crying baby
Quite often, young children cry, discomfort from overheating or hypothermia. This is due to the immaturity of the thermoregulation system.
If the baby is hot - his skin turns red, perspiration appears on his forehead and in the folds, the baby begins to whimper, rush about in the bed, trying to free his arms and legs, and later cry loudly.
In the future, diaper rash and diaper dermatitis may appear, which only increases the discomfort of the baby.
If the baby is frozen, he cries, first piercingly and suddenly, and then the cry gradually turns into a whimper and in most cases is accompanied by a hiccup.
The arms, legs and nose of the baby become cold, and the skin on the back and chest becomes cool.
In addition to this, I can cause discomfort:
- folds of clothes
- buttons, clasps,
- tight seams
- uncomfortable pose
- wet diaper or diaper,
In the first month of life, the right choice of clothes and bedding is especially important (they should be made from natural materials, without synthetic additives), you need to constantly level the bed, turn the crumb over and monitor the temperature and humidity in the room.
Crying during urination and bowel movements
Many parents notice anxiety and crying in babies during urination, especially in boys, as well as straining and bowel movements.
But at the same time, you need to be extremely careful, because in addition to physiological addiction to the act of urination, crying can also be caused by inflammation of the urinary tract - intrauterine urethritis, pyelonephritis, congenital anomalies.
In girls, this can also be caused by inflammation of the mucous membrane of the genital organs (vulvovaginitis or persistent diaper rash with spasm and swelling of the urethra), and in boys - by the fusion of the foreskin (phimosis), which can be seen by the urine stream "to the side", and narrowing of the urethra .
Crying baby with pathological changes in the urinary tract at first looks like a whimper, and before you pee, the baby begins to cry and scream. Also, these conditions may be accompanied by fever.
If these symptoms appear, consult a doctor immediately.
The same problems can cause anxiety during the act of defecation - inflammation, diaper rash with a transition to the anus, small cracks in the anus.
You need to pay attention to the following symptoms:
the newborn or baby grunts and pushes, wrinkles, and then cries, sometimes these symptoms also occur when the gases escape.
Most often, such problems occur with frequent constipation. With frequent delays in the stool, a change in its consistency, color, and the appearance of impurities, you need to consult a doctor in time and take tests to clarify the diagnosis.
Strong constant crying in infants
Severe crying is most often caused by pain.
At the same time, in the intestines of the baby there is an accumulation of gases that irritate the intestinal walls, causing it to bloat and pain.
In addition, crying of the baby is often caused by a pain syndrome, which can occur:
- when teething
- with stomatitis (thrush),
- with otitis,
- at the first sign of a cold due to dryness and sore throat, nasal congestion,
- headaches with neurological pathologies - increased intracranial pressure, encephalopathies, hypertonicity and other disorders of the regulation of the nervous system.
The most common causes of crying are intestinal colic.
Is it good for babies to cry?
In many forums and sites, you can find allegations that crying is useful for a nursing baby, and some relatives also think so.
There is a claim that the lungs develop in this way. What is far from being true and parents should know about this:
it is harmful for a baby to cry in the future, this will negatively affect his health and character.
And it is also important to know that a healthy and happy baby will not cry for no reason and must be sought!
In addition, you cannot leave the most precious creature - joy and happiness alone with your infant problems, you need to cope with them together. And don’t be afraid to accustom the baby to the hands - it’s not so scary, gradually everything will get better as the baby grows. And if he needs your care and support - this is not so scary.
doctor - pediatrician Sazonova Olga Ivanovna
A little bit about baby crying
The cries of a newborn baby is the first sound signal after birth. The baby in this way resists separation from his mother, protests against a change in habitat and announces to the whole world his birth.
Usually a newborn baby cries quite often, and if at first the parents do not understand the source of the screams, then they begin to distinguish between different reasons for the duration, frequency, intensity, volume and other characteristics of crying.
Do not react to the crying baby, as a catastrophic phenomenon. On the contrary, every time you need to listen to the child, trying to identify the source of anxiety and exclude it.
The reasons for crying a newborn are multifaceted and may be following features and factors:
- colic and discomfort in the tummy,
- wet diapers
- low or high room temperature,
- desire to sleep
- discomfort in the crib
- health problems.
Consider the main reasons for crying a small child in more detail.
If you ask an experienced pediatrician why a newborn is crying, then in most cases the answer will be something like this: the baby is hungry.
The ventricle of a baby born is very small, so infants are often fed, but with a small amount of milk or a mixture. But since lactation is only getting better, one of the feedings of the baby can receive a smaller amount of food, which is what weeping signals.
If a newborn baby cries a lot, mother, first of all, needs to check whether he wants to "have a meal". To do this, bend the little finger and touch it to the corner of the children's mouth. If the baby turns its head towards the stimulus and opens its mouth, then the crying was provoked by hunger.
Mom needs to put the baby to her breast for feeding or offer a bottle with a freshly prepared mixture. Usually, immediately after receiving the cherished food, the screams begin to subside, and loud crying is replaced by quiet sobs, which gradually disappear.
If the baby is crying constantly, you need to track the dynamics of the set of kilograms and the volume of milk in the mother. It is very likely that the baby cannot eat enough and this situation requires an increase in the amount of milk or the introduction of complementary foods.
It is best to consult with a specialist.
An artificial child, by the way, may cry not from lack of food, but from thirst. Mothers, especially in hot weather, need to keep a bottle of clean drinking water near them.
If the newborn is capricious and cries directly during or after eating, we can conclude that there are certain problems that interfere with normal feeding. Here are just a few of them:
- Stuffy nose. The baby can start sucking milk or milk, but then brushes the breast or bottle away. In this case, snoring or sniffling of the nose is heard. With a runny nose and nasal congestion, clean the nose with an aspirator, rinse with saline and instill the remedy recommended by the doctor.
- The child choked. If the baby’s cry during feeding is short and no longer repeats, and the baby clears his throat, then he probably just swallowed a lot of milk. It is enough to wait a bit and then resume feeding.
- Ear infection. If by all indications the child is hungry, but at the first sip leaves his chest and starts screaming loudly, he may have otitis media. In this case, swallowing only enhances the discomfort. You need to see a doctor who will prescribe nasal and ear drops.
- Thrush. When the oral cavity is affected by a fungus of the genus Candida, a whitish coating appears in the child, and when the milk enters the tongue, a burning sensation occurs. So that the baby does not cry and does not refuse food, you should visit a doctor who will recommend the correct method of treatment.
- Unpleasant smack from milk. If a hungry child turns away from a food source and continues to cry, he may not like the taste of milk. Changes milk performance with the use of flavored products: spices, hot spices, garlic sauce or onions. They should be avoided with HS.
- Air in the digestive tract. If immediately after eating the baby begins to whimper and pull his legs to the tummy, maybe he swallowed a lot of air. It is enough to put the crumbs as a “soldier” so that excess oxygen is released.
A common cause of crying in a newborn baby is colic, which is a spastic reaction localized in the tummy. The imperfection of the children's digestive system, manifested by stretching of the intestinal walls with gas bubbles, determines their occurrence.
In this case, children's crying is loud, piercing, and it can last a long time with short pauses. Parent can guess about colic and by such signs as:
- reddened face
- pressing the lower extremities to the stomach with their further sharp stretching,
- hardened belly
- clenched fists.
Of course, the problem of colic itself will disappear at 4 months of age, when the digestive tract "ripens." However, just waiting for this blessed time would be foolish. It is necessary to reassure the baby. How? For instance, can:
- pat the diaper and put it warm on the baby’s belly,
- do a light massage of the umbilical region,
- put the child on his stomach,
- perform the exercise "bike",
- drink crumbs with dill water or a medicine prescribed by a doctor, etc.
Does the child not cry after the manipulations? So you did everything right. Very soon, the unpleasant symptoms of colic will disappear, and children's anxiety will be replaced by joyful activity.
If hunger and colic disappear, the mother may suggest that the newborn baby cries due to unpleasant sensations caused by uncomfortable clothes, improperly selected temperature conditions or, most often, a wet or dirty diaper.
Let's consider in more detail root causes for physical discomfort andmethods for their elimination:
- The child described. If the baby cries, fidgets, trying not to touch the wet thing, you need to see if he made his "wet deal" in the diaper or diaper. The solution to the problem is very simple - just change clothes and underwear, wipe baby skin with a napkin.
- The kid is uncomfortable in clothes. If the child screams in displeasure immediately after dressing or changing the diaper, the mother may conclude that he does not like the clothes. Perhaps the seams, threads, buttons stuck in the body, synthetics cause itchy sensations or the diaper material is quite stiff. They just change clothes.
- The baby is uncomfortable in a crib or stroller. A whimpering newborn may be unhappy with the pose. In this case, he begins to cry, wave his limbs, trying to change his position. The way out is to shift the child into a more comfortable pose for him.
- The baby is frozen or soprel. If the child constantly whimpers, sobs, he has reddened and hot skin, then he is too hot. With crying and pallor of the skin, on the contrary, they conclude that the baby is hypothermia. Parents need to change clothes based on the temperature in the room.
If the mother does not know why the newborn is crying, he has disturbing symptoms, the doctor will help to answer all questions. Seek medical attention if:
- children's crying is monotonous and monotonous,
- the child is too sluggish, inactive,
- body temperature is elevated.
If the child cries all the time, and it is not possible to establish the source of the cries, it is better not to hesitate and call the doctor. What else should parents know? Ways to help with some painful conditions are presented in the table.
|condition||Features||Character crying||Other symptoms||Help ways|
|Headache||This condition often occurs in children with perinatal encephalopathy. The catalyst for pain is a change in weather (rain, wind).||The child is constantly crying, screaming loudly and angrily.||Self-medication is excluded. Contact a pediatrician and a neurologist immediately.|
|Diaper dermatitis||Urine and feces irritate the skin, resulting in diaper rash and pain.||A newborn cries loudly, screams intensify when mom changes the diaper or diaper.||The question of what to do is obvious. It is necessary to regularly change hygiene devices, wipe the skin. In case of severe diaper rash, consult a doctor.|
|Cutting teeth||Climbing incisors usually occurs at 4-6 months of age.||The child cries loudly, while sipping fists or any other objects into his mouth.||If teeth are being cut in an infant, a teether should be purchased. The doctor may recommend a special analgesic gel for gums.|
Discomfort of psychological origin is another answer to the question why the baby is crying. The child may overwork, miss her mother or be afraid of a loud sound.
The kid is able to cry if he needs to attract parental attention. In this case, he calls invitingly for a few seconds and waits for his mother to come up. If the adult does not respond, then after a short interval, the scream is repeated.
The kid may cry in protest. For example, if a newborn did not like something, then he will begin to shout sharply and loudly in all his might. Most often, children can be disturbed by changing clothes, cutting off nails, cleaning their ears.
A capricious newborn is almost impossible, since such small children cry for objective reasons. So, tears and discontent provoke increased activity during the day, communication with strangers, a day that is excessively rich in emotions and events.
If the newborn often cries in the evening, he is likely to overwork. Help relieve fatigue:
- quiet entertainment
- airing the room and humidifying the air,
Crying during bowel movements
If newborns whimper when going to the restroom "for the most part", then, most likely, they have difficulty with bowel movements. When the digestive tract is adapted, almost every child goes through a stage of colic and even constipation.
With children's tears during bowel movements, you need to pay attention to the peculiarities of feces, and also remember that the child ate for the past few days.
The main factors in the appearance of crying and screaming in newborns during bowel movements are:
- constipation that occurs due to the transition to artificial feeding or a change in the mixture,
- intestinal colic
- inflammatory bowel disease.
Crying in a dream
Many parents notice that a newborn baby screams in a dream. First of all, you should examine the crib and the pose in which the baby rests, in order to eliminate physical discomfort as a cause.
Specialists call other reasons why the baby cries and screams during sleep. Provoke baby crying can:
- colic, which we have already mentioned above,
- nervous overwork
- cutting teeth
- any disease
- horrible dream,
- detecting the absence of mom.
Crying while swimming
Another issue that worries parents is why the baby cries while swimming. The causes of tears during water procedures are many-sided. Allocate several main factors that affect the behavior of the child while swimming:
- Uncomfortable water temperature. The baby can react negatively to excessively cold or hot water. It also affects the well-being and temperature of the bathroom. Before bathing, it is important to verify the optimum water and air temperature.
- Too big bath. Some children are afraid of large volumes of an adult bath. In this case, experts advise wrapping the child in a diaper before lowering into water. This reduces psychological stress.
- Fear of swimming. Negative emotions arise due to the penetration of soap foam into the eyes, ingress of water into the mouth or ears. The child in such a situation in every way impedes the conduct of the water procedure.
- Inconvenient position. Many mothers are afraid to harm the child, so they hold him too tightly. This leads to the fact that newborns begin to express discontent and protest during bathing.
- Related factors. A feeling of hunger, as well as colic, can worsen children's mood. To understand what exactly caused the discontent, the signs that we mentioned above will help. In order for water procedures to go smoothly, you need to get rid of unpleasant symptoms.
Each mother is able to find an approach to her own child if she carefully watches him. Let at first the baby cry always seems to be the same for parents, but then, as they establish communication, literally every squeak will be filled with its own special meaning.